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Today is Election Day and hundreds of thousands of campaign posters stare imploringly at passengers and pedestrians on every street in Bangkok. Only by taking the skytrain can the endless gauntlet of fixed smiles and starched collars be avoided. 
Huddled around the trees and lamp posts, it is hard not to find ourselves warming to certain politicians, despite being largely unaware of their policies or abilities. Charisma is important. The election campaign poster can make or break careers and the politicians know it. That’s why they smile so hard.
A handful of distinct approaches to this year’s posters are easily identifiable, and we decided to classify these sub-genres for you. Who knows, maybe one day you will turn your life around, stop going to Astra and run for office.
It is with this remote possibility in mind that we present you with a guide to expression of identity within the election poster medium.
The moustache
Having a moustache shows a paternal strength of character. We appreciate it’s not easy getting through that stubbly in-between phase. You have to hold onto your personal goals and beliefs when the world laughs and tells you to shave. This is important in a politician.
Smile: Sternly, if at all.
The look: Aim for Tom Selleck, not Borat.
Background: Your face. The salesman
Would you buy a used car from this man? We would. There are many similarities between politicians and used car salesmen. This guy just had the balls to come out and admit it with his poster. 
Smile: Yes, earnestly.
The look: Loud suit, retro styling.
Background: Car lot.
The academic
We all look up to academics because they know more than we do. They are therefore more qualified to run the country than any other group. Politically, this is an established look, but can easily come off as nerdy (in a bad way).
Smile: Never
The look: Graduation Day (without the pride)
Background: Scholarly blue. The serious businessman
Wearing a shirt and tie instantly makes you a businessman, so why not model yourself as a serious captain-of-industry type? By looking just off-camera, you suggest that there is a vision to be shared if only others tilted their heads slightly towards yours. It’s a well-planned vision, with pie charts and the occasional team-building exercise. You’d like it. 
Smile: Knowingly and searchingly, if at all.
The look: Office mugshot.
Background: Corporate blue. The friendly boss
Everyone likes to have someone in charge that can make tough decisions one minute and tell a fart joke the next. It’s just important not to get the two messages mixed up in your poster. Nobody wants to vote for David Brent. 
Smile: 'Surprised' grin.
The look: Mid-office joke.
Background: Mixed. The man in uniform
Strong military leadership and having once been able to do fifty press-ups without cheating are universally revered qualities.
When choosing the military option, you must project a certain weight of responsibility, but should still show that the ability to smile hasn’t been drummed out of you.
An abundance of medals is always reassuring. The more colourful, the better. 
Smile: Try to avoid sneering.
The look: Friendly Dictator.
Background: Whatever you ask for. Ladies
We had to give the ladies their own section, as they tend to have their own set of poster rules. An office-like white collar over a dark jacket is a safe option... 
…although some lady politicians choose to show their hi-so status more clearly... 
...while others choose a more casual look. 
Of course, as a lady, you can also cover both angles so try to make at least one change of clothes during your photo shoot. 
Smile: Colgate
The look: Impeccably groomed
Background: Accessorised to match outfit. The spaceman
Everyone likes space, and some of us secretly harbour dreams of one day going there when space-tourism gets cheaper for ordinary people, and not just for wealthy businessmen and politicians.
This poster just makes us jealous. 
Smile: Awkwardly. (Still not quite sure about this whole ‘space thing’)
The look: Steve Martin in space comedy.
Background: Camp interpretation of Milky Way. The passport politician
There’s little excuse for turning in a dodgy passport photo for your election poster, even if your well-meaning secretary has PhotoShopped the background from a curtain into a Venetian street scene. This look is best avoided. 
Smile: No, you’re not allowed to these days.
The look: Passport booth.
Background: Avoid curtain. The number
You have to respect it when a politician doesn’t even use an image of themselves, and just goes for a number instead. It’s so honest, like saying, ‘we’re all the same anyway, so here are the digits.’ Opting out of system adds an attractive air of mystery, but perhaps that can be a bad thing when you’re trying to get recognised by voters. 
When you make your face so small it’s like a punctuation mark, it tells us that you’re not just another show-pony, but intriguingly want to get to the real issues. You mean business. 
Smile: We can’t really tell, but probably.
The look: Absent.
Background: All-consuming. The blind man
If blind, you should make sure to include your guide dog and stick. Otherwise, you’re just another guy in dark glasses, and that’s bad because the voters won’t trust you. They want to see your eyes.
Rising to a position of political power despite being blind takes a stupendous amount of effort, and people always identify with overcoming hardships.
By being blind and leaving all wardrobe decisions to his stylist, this guy has managed to win the Best Dressed Politician Award ’06. 
Smile: Serenely.
The look: Blind and successful.
Background: The ninth hole.
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