|
Pirates… (sigh)… don’t you just love to hate them?
You can’t walk between Starbucks without spotting at least fifteen of the scurvy sea-dogs hand-in-arm with some poor concubine a fraction of their size, weight and net worth.  Sure, they may amuse with their uniform paunch, Dad-gone-bad fashion and guilty expressions, but most of the time they just embarrass, and, well… maybe there’s a part of us menfolk that fear one day we could become like them ourselves.
Let’s be clear now: we’re not talking about your Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom, sexy, boyish pirates here. Oh, no. These gadabouts are from a different ship altogether. Often wearing the traditional ill-fitting soccer shirt above the breeches and black socks below, these shady, sweaty and balding vagabonds may just have set permanent anchor in Bangkok.
To be fair, it can sometimes be awesome to see them. Y’know, when they just check all the boxes, ring all the bells and couldn’t be more of a pirate if they spent all week shopping at street stalls for that perfect mobile phone holster or undersized slogan T-shirt.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all had a good laugh inside at these lumbering stereotypes, perhaps alerting our friends to the sighting, and maybe even capturing the encounter on film.
Just for kicks, Bangkokrecorder sailed out onto the pirate-infested waters of Nana to hunt for the rapscallions ourselves, and to share our photographic booty with you.
Know Your Pirates
Upon close inspection, the keen Pirate Hunter will identify several key types:
Sea Captain  Common breed, older and most identifiable to the layperson. Travels alone, but known to be sociable. Larger paunch often covered by sweaty cotton shirt that says: “hey, I’m just here on vacation.” Feels little shame, but can become aggressive if provoked. Poor vision, may not see your camera. Slow moving, they are easy to escape. Drinks: flagon of mead. Skipper  Freshly divorced, Skippers are rarely known to move in numbers. Unsociable, even to their evening’s date, they are most likely to question use of camera. Drinks: Chang (Large). Youngster, or ‘Buccaneer’  An all too-common site these days, the younger pirate prefers a sporty, macho look that asserts his sexuality. Young enough to still feel shame, they will rarely look you in the eye. Known to move in packs. Drinks: Sangsom and Red Bull (Bucket). Corporate, also known as ‘Cor-pirate’  Hides behind an air of respectability. Assumes business attire as a clever disguise. Adopts ‘heavens, how did I end up in this part of town?’ attitude. Cunning and greedy, he is to be treated with caution. Often found in pairs. Drinks: sparkling white wine. She-Pirate  Their origin a mystery, She-Pirates roam freely and alone. Although often inter-changeable with males, chest bumps will give them away. Drinks: Bacardi Breezer. Weirdo  Usually alone and unkempt, often striding with intent. Can seem confused or emotional. Rarely makes eye contact. Fast-moving, they can be dangerous. Drinks: own urine. We enjoyed making these guys squirm by pointing a camera lens at them, and in that spirit, we suggest that you go out there yourselves and embark on pirate hunts of your very own.
Send your snaps to us at
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
The best ones will be displayed on our upcoming Pirate Gallery, and lucky winners will be the envy of their soi in their very own Bangkokrecorder T-shirts.
But, woah… Don’t go just yet. We can’t just send you out there like this or you’ll soon be walking the plank! No, no, no. A successful Hunter must be well-versed in the art of maritime subterfuge. Here are our top five tips for a successful expedition.
1: Bring an Assistant
Essential in any prolonged hunt, an Assistant can be used to sow confusion, and distract attention away from your camera. Pirates are far less likely to approach you if you are not alone. An Assistant also provides a degree of cover.
Expert’s Tip: Ask your Assistant to stand in front of pirate as he approaches, then move the camera slightly to aim at pirate when he is in shot. The pirate will think you are just photographing your buddy.
2: Dress in ‘Office Attire’
By dressing like a business person on their lunch break, you make yourself less approachable to the oft-casual pirate, and add an air of bureaucratic legitimacy to your hunt.
3: Go Hunting Before Dark
Any later than 5pm and you may need to use a flash. Uh-uh! One flash of light is enough to rouse suspicion. Remember: keep flash turned off at all times.
4: Don’t worry about framing
The covert nature of pirate hunting dictates that you're not always going to get the best framing for your shot. But, hey, chin up – all is not lost! The image can be cropped at a later date. In fact, if you send it to us, we’ll do it for you.
5: Have a Story
Be prepared to ‘talk your way out of it’ if you find yourself cornered.
Expert’s Tip: Say you are doing a college project on pedestrians and apologise profusely. Then get a shot of their sweaty back as they walk away. Like this one we took earlier:  Remember now, be careful… and good will pirate hunting!
 |
